Another Uncle

He asked,”where is doctor Tyagi?” The other  doctors replied” He’s at your service  sir!”, “Down there!”. Then he asked,”Would you people like to hear a poem?” The doctors had no other option; and so…. they said Yes! I can’t recollect the whole mumble jumble but the last lines said, “Yeh dil bhi kaisa dil hai jo paththar na ho saka”(which can be somewhat translated to, Oh this heart is so unique that it couldn’t go numb!).

Believe me all this was happening in the operation theater! And that’s how my friend’s father is. He is courageous,he is fun, sometimes child-like and at other times childish!

He was under the influence of spinal anesthesia and lower half of his body was numb.He was touching it at different points and that poem was according to his analysis of the situation!

Uncle had developed some problem with his prostate.  For a better treatment, he had been referred to Delhi by the doctors of his home town. And so he came to Delhi,with catheter, a urine bag and a lot of pain. He had tried everything from homeopathy to physiotherapy,but nothing at home seemed to help. I think it even increased his problems, because massaging the prostate is fun, but its never a good idea!

He was in terrible pain,so we wanted a quick solution to his problems. He was adamant that we should seek advice only from AIIMS. On the other hand we didn’t want to get entangled in the bureaucratic treatment of that government hospital. It was difficult for us to make him realize that everyone surrounding him was concerned about his well being. He was afraid that we would commit some mistake and it would cost him dearly. ( for your info he was surrounded by the smartest kids of the nation, and I am excluding myself from this list out of sheer humility :P)

Being a professor he was incurably curious. He could ask 369 questions before you take the next breath. 369 is just a rough estimate,I could never count, I prefer breathing all the time. Many a time it felt like a viva-voce. You never knew what was coming next. Once,he asked me to convert his height from centimeters to inches.

If it looks OK to you then think it my way,he is 61 years old,and his height would have been constant since, at least last 40-45 years.Therefore according to me he either knew the answer or the question was irrelevant .

He got his weight checked twice in the hospital. First, when he was going for an MRI but stumbled upon the weighing machine. He was 68 kgs. Few hours later the nurse came and asked for his weight, and innocently he inquired if they had a weighing machine. 🙂

We went  together but this time before weighing, he asked me how full was the urine bag. He wanted me to subtract that much weight from the reading of the machine. Next, he said, “Its winters so my clothes must be weighing around 2 kilograms”,subtract that weight too! Now tell me,have you ever weighed yourself without clothe and empty bladder? Who in the world does that? Even the boxers wear boxers while weighing themselves before a fight!

He wanted to give the doctors his perfect weight by subtracting an arbitrary number as the weight of his clothes!

This may infuriate you; But my dear uncle it was Childish!

This blog will not end if start talking about his life long love for sweets and his 13 year old diabetes…… I am just signing off !!

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Oh my dear friend

Don’t we all have such friends,who are always in one trouble or the other. Whatever he does,ends up being a disaster. If last night he did a lot of shopping then today he will get dumped from his job. My friend’s life is just like that! And he’s never prepared for that.

He fell in love once- whole heartedly. 10 days before the girl’s birthday, a guy stopped her,gave her a card and vanished in the crowd. Nothing apart from “10 days to go” was written on it. This thing repeatedly happened till her birthday, some random guy would come from somewhere in the crowd, give her a card and vanish. All this was planned by our lover-boy, to win the heart of his lady love. Believe me, nothing happened on her birthday! She didn’t even care for who was the guy,not even acknowledged the dedication!

He was really heart-broken when the girl declined his offer. More because she used really harsh language. It was unbearable for my soft-spoken,tender-hearted friend. He questioned,how could he love such a haughty girl! He became irritable,didn’t attend his class for some days but later resumed his normal life. That is how my friend is,he is always back to normal. A few days of pain,a few days lost in vain but always back again. Doesn’t it ring a bell? Isn’t this how we all are?

Then what makes my friend different? Its his shameless self confidence!The chutzpah to commit the same mistake all over again. The moment he was stable,and everything was okay in his life, he fell in LOVE. This time with a very different kind of girl.

I am not sure what parameters does this guy check before falling in love! The earlier girl was skinny,this one is plump. The eyes,the nose,every feature on their respective faces  are starkly opposite! How could he love two opposite people. I think he either loved none,or he can love just anyone. But the most pronounced difference between the girls hasn’t been put forward yet. Unlike the first one,the other one accepted the proposal!

Looks like a happy ending, doesn’t it? But,it isn’t!  This girl loves him just too much. She told her friends,neighbors and even parents about this guy. She’s so happy with him that she wants to forego every pleasure for him; I don’t know about the intricacies but at least she says so. And here my friend becomes a tragedy king all over again. He belongs to a conservative Brahmin family and the girl a Punjabi….lets see what happens!

Today…but what about tomorrow!!

My friend’s father is ill since last few days,yesterday I went to see him and stayed there till quite late at night. On my way back home I saw some “Band-wallahs” coming back from a marriage on their horses. They were coming towards me on a narrow road,so I moved aside to make way for them. Suddenly a speeding “Innova” came from nowhere,somehow I dodged it. But almost came under the horse’s feet. I was safe but terrified. I came back home and later slept.

Everything was back to normal and in the evening, I went to Chandni-Chowk to buy some books. Chawri bazar metro station was crowded as usual, anyone who travels by delhi-metro must aware about it. Only thing unusual about today is that the crowd was on the tracks! Someone had fallen on the track and was stuck under the metro. He was alive and was crawling towards the security guards who had gathered to help. Since,he was alive,and the crowd gathered was causing only trouble,and also I was getting late I moved out. 

I found the books without much trouble and thus finished my shopping in less than 30 minutes. Since my package was heavy,and partly because I was wary f the crowd I took an auto. I was almost halfway through but got stuck in a traffic jam just before Chanakyapuri. An Omni van had caught fire! after the jam got cleared the vehicle was still on fire. When I was crossing the vehicle, I could feel the heat of the flames even in my auto from the other side of the road.

I reached home safely. Gave the books to my brother and waited for no further signs. I went online,looked out for,how to donate organs and registered myself on http://donatelifeindia.org within next 20 minutes. These 20 minutes I was looking out for: “how authentic is the website”‘ and “what does my religion say about organ donation?” And I found out,that its perfectly fine as long as it is for saving save life and not for monetary profit.

And thus, I got a thank you card in my mail saying now I can save up to 8 lives!